home sweet home...
its the weekend already.. i cant wait to see what am i going to do this weekend...
lets list down what i have in mind...
1. career fair...
2. bring natalie shopping...
3. sleepppppppppppppppppppp...
4. go out with my bestfriends...
5. laundry...
6. ideas for my FYP!... <--- do i have too??? =(
7. sleeeeeeeeeepppppppppppppppppppppppppppp somemore!!!!
8. study some economics... <---- do i have toooooooo??? uwaaaaaaaa....
*missing you*
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
WHY!!!!???
why is it so hard for you to show me that you love me?
why is it so hard for you to prove to me that you really want me?
why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why?
why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why?
why is it so hard for you to prove to me that you really want me?
why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why?
why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why?
NO one!
no one knows how i feel and how i have to deal with it everyday...
only me and that is for sure that is only me...
currently down with a terrible headache... and my hands are shaking... *sigh*
*not in the mood*
only me and that is for sure that is only me...
currently down with a terrible headache... and my hands are shaking... *sigh*
*not in the mood*
Saturday, February 23, 2008
27 dresses...
a must watch!!! next movie that im going to watch.. cant wait!!! i love the design of the poster!!! hehehehehe... nak nak nak nak nak tgkkkkk.... who would like to be my date???sigh~
its so usual that when i wake up i get a morning message from him or call him to hear his voice... but lately i dont get any message... but its ok... i understand... but today morning the first thing i thought of when i open my eyes was HIM! =( i feel so sadddddddddddddddddd........................... so i decide to give him a call... at the same time i was feeling sad and happy... sad coz its our anniversary... happy to get to hear his voice...
...by the way im alone in kristen's house as she is M.I.A...!
...by the way im alone in kristen's house as she is M.I.A...!
@ poppy
kristen and me @ poppywhat a day and what a nite... its 4.30am and im still not sleeping... i just got back from poppy... it was my first time there... i went there with my bestfriend, kristen... it was nice of her to bring me out to get my mind of stuff especially thinking about him... i dont know how im going to forget and let him go but i guess i have to bare with it and let it be... just hope for the best and see how things will work out... i couldnt drink today as im on medication and my gastric is just not going away... all i did was dance but eventhough i was dancing i was wishing that you were there with me hugging and protecting me...
today is the day if we are still together we are 8 months together... well... i just wanted to wish you happy anniversary... i love you and i dont know how to stop loving you at the moment... im trying to have fun just now but it just doesnt seem right... i cant stop thinking about you and i just dont know what to do... i want you so badly... i dont know what he is doing and i dont know whether he thinks about me like how i think of him...
i miss you...
Friday, February 22, 2008
=(
i got no where to run and i dont think i would want to run away from anyone. i just want everything to be over as i dont want to feel sad everytime. to let you go is already hard enough. like what the GIRL say 'i just wanna be with him, care about him, love him, everything about him!!' hope you get what you want.
the end.
the end.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
end??
Was hoping that you would say don't... Hoping that you would not let me walk away...
All I could do is respect and accept the fact that I have to move on...
It really hurts but you said it.
I love you sooo much.
You were always there for me... Especially when i'm feeling down and mostly also when i'm feeling up like as though I am in cloud 9...
I wish it would not have to end...
I wish that it could continue...
I really wish you would not just let me walk away...
I guess its final...
The decision has been made...*sigh*
I want you so badly but I can't have you.
All I could do is respect and accept the fact that I have to move on...
It really hurts but you said it.
I love you sooo much.
You were always there for me... Especially when i'm feeling down and mostly also when i'm feeling up like as though I am in cloud 9...
I wish it would not have to end...
I wish that it could continue...
I really wish you would not just let me walk away...
I guess its final...
The decision has been made...*sigh*
I want you so badly but I can't have you.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
happy!
I'm not going to fight for anything... I just don't want to get hurt... That is all...
He asked me out for lunch today... I was surprise at one point but happy... Just really happy...
I couldn't stop smiling... I really miss having him around... but for how long i'm not sure...
*happy day*
He asked me out for lunch today... I was surprise at one point but happy... Just really happy...
I couldn't stop smiling... I really miss having him around... but for how long i'm not sure...
*happy day*
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
prayers...
Why when I say I will let you go, people will presume that 'we are no more friends'. Why do one have to think that way? For goodness sake, we are still friends, just that we are now different and I don't think you would want your boyfriend's ex messaging him 24/7. I want to leave you two alone and I don't want to be a 'penghalang' between the both of you. I am pretty sure that you wouldn't want too right? I'm sure that you don't want him to think of me. Open your mind up and don't jump into conclusion GIRL!!!
How would you tell someone is really happy?
How would you say someone is happy when he or she smiles?
How would you know the actual feeling deep inside?
Whoever you are, just go on loving him. I'm not going to stop you because that is just not me. Really, you can't stop someone loving someone. I'm pretty sure you know what I mean. No matter what happens, I really appreciate everything you have done for me. I will definitely miss you. If I say I don't means i'm lying to myself. I do love you and I do miss you. =)
Okay. That is enough for what I have to say.
For me... Life has to go on. My friend's father is diagnose with cancer. He is in a recovering state. I pray and hope that he will get well soon.
*Hope for a miracle and for the best*
My prayers are with you, uncle.
How would you tell someone is really happy?
How would you say someone is happy when he or she smiles?
How would you know the actual feeling deep inside?
Whoever you are, just go on loving him. I'm not going to stop you because that is just not me. Really, you can't stop someone loving someone. I'm pretty sure you know what I mean. No matter what happens, I really appreciate everything you have done for me. I will definitely miss you. If I say I don't means i'm lying to myself. I do love you and I do miss you. =)
Okay. That is enough for what I have to say.
For me... Life has to go on. My friend's father is diagnose with cancer. He is in a recovering state. I pray and hope that he will get well soon.
*Hope for a miracle and for the best*
My prayers are with you, uncle.
Monday, February 18, 2008
something got me destracted!
i found something really interesting but i think i have read it somewhere... hehehe...
Things guys should know about GIRLS...
1. When you see a girl with huge knockers, do not go "Damn!" and then laugh appreciatively to yourself - we can hear you.
2. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
3. If you don't act like soap-opera guys, don't expect us to dress like Victoria Secret models.
4. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.
5. There is no such thing as too much spooning.
6. Just because you L the C doesn't mean we have to S the D.
7. This is how we see it . . . Don't call = Don't Care.
8. Which also means that if we don't call, take the hint.
9. We like you to be a little jealous . . . but overly possessive is not necessary.
10. Putting things in our butt does not turn us on.
11. Return favors: we massage, you massage; we shave, you shave (and not just your face).
12. Foreplay is not an option . . . its a prerequisite.
13. We're allowed to be late . . . you are not.
14. Eye contact is key.
15. Don't take longer to get ready than we do.
16. Laugh at our jokes.
17. Three words . . . honesty, honesty, honesty.
18. Girls can be groupies. Guy groupies are stalkers.
19. We never have to wonder if your orgasm was real.
20. Do not start with us. You will not win... not kidding .. we ALWAYS win
21. Would you like it if a guy treated your sister that way? We didn't think so.
22. If you ask nicely, we usually answer the same way.
23. We will never have enough clothes or shoes! Ever!
24. We have an excuse to act bitchy at least once a month. Come on guys...most of you have more PMS then us girls..
25. Open the door for us no matter where we are . . . even at our house and getting into the car. I know it seems like a lot but is it that hard?
26. We love surprises!
27. We liked to be kissed softly, not with an iron tongue.
28.Pay attention to the little things we do, because they mean the most.
29. Boxers and maybe boxer briefs sometiems . . . NEVER whitey-tighties, NEVER!
30. Clean your room before we come over.
31. Always brush your teeth before you see us . . . a fresh mouth and white teeth are a necessity plus we do the same for you.
32. When we use our teeth it means that you suck at going down on us, so we are just returning the favor.
33. Even though you are sometimes insensitive and hurt us, we still love you with everything we are.
34. Sometimes even when you think we hate you, we don't, we just want you to apologize so we can be allowed to love you again
35. Don't act hard around your friends because I won't make you hard tonight. AKA don't be an ass
36. Sometimes "NO!" really means "NO!"
37. "Wife Beaters" are not an adequate form of fashion.
38. If we wanted to be on video tape, we'd be a porn star not your girlfriend.
39. Sensitive guys are great . . . but crying more than we do in a movie just isn't right.
40. Don't let ex-girlfriends cause drama, relationships are stressful enough!!!!!
41. It takes a special kind of stupid to forget birthdays.
42. Guys who are good cuddlers = guys who know how to satisfy a woman.
43. "Fat Chicks" have feelings too--all chicks have feelings.
44. Silent treatment + shoulder shrugs + tears + yelling + nasty looks = YOU DID SOMETHING WRONG!
45. If you are not a good dancer, please be self-aware.
46. Just because a girl doesn't pick up on the first ring doesn't mean she's not waiting by the phone.
47. You don't have to spend a lot, if it means a lot.
48. Don't say you love me if you don't mean it.
49. Don't lie to us . . . we will catch you...eventually we always catch you.
50. When the girls get together, we talk about EVERYTHING. Meaning my best friends knows everything about you.
51. Don't Make Promises You Can't Keep
52. Don't tell your girl "I saw "this thing" that you would have loved and I was going to buy it for you..." or " I was going to buy you "fill in the blank"... but then didn't for whatever reason. If you didn't buy it we don't want to hear about it, all that does is create disppointment. Either buy it or shut up about it.
Things guys should know about GIRLS...
1. When you see a girl with huge knockers, do not go "Damn!" and then laugh appreciatively to yourself - we can hear you.
2. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
3. If you don't act like soap-opera guys, don't expect us to dress like Victoria Secret models.
4. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.
5. There is no such thing as too much spooning.
6. Just because you L the C doesn't mean we have to S the D.
7. This is how we see it . . . Don't call = Don't Care.
8. Which also means that if we don't call, take the hint.
9. We like you to be a little jealous . . . but overly possessive is not necessary.
10. Putting things in our butt does not turn us on.
11. Return favors: we massage, you massage; we shave, you shave (and not just your face).
12. Foreplay is not an option . . . its a prerequisite.
13. We're allowed to be late . . . you are not.
14. Eye contact is key.
15. Don't take longer to get ready than we do.
16. Laugh at our jokes.
17. Three words . . . honesty, honesty, honesty.
18. Girls can be groupies. Guy groupies are stalkers.
19. We never have to wonder if your orgasm was real.
20. Do not start with us. You will not win... not kidding .. we ALWAYS win
21. Would you like it if a guy treated your sister that way? We didn't think so.
22. If you ask nicely, we usually answer the same way.
23. We will never have enough clothes or shoes! Ever!
24. We have an excuse to act bitchy at least once a month. Come on guys...most of you have more PMS then us girls..
25. Open the door for us no matter where we are . . . even at our house and getting into the car. I know it seems like a lot but is it that hard?
26. We love surprises!
27. We liked to be kissed softly, not with an iron tongue.
28.Pay attention to the little things we do, because they mean the most.
29. Boxers and maybe boxer briefs sometiems . . . NEVER whitey-tighties, NEVER!
30. Clean your room before we come over.
31. Always brush your teeth before you see us . . . a fresh mouth and white teeth are a necessity plus we do the same for you.
32. When we use our teeth it means that you suck at going down on us, so we are just returning the favor.
33. Even though you are sometimes insensitive and hurt us, we still love you with everything we are.
34. Sometimes even when you think we hate you, we don't, we just want you to apologize so we can be allowed to love you again
35. Don't act hard around your friends because I won't make you hard tonight. AKA don't be an ass
36. Sometimes "NO!" really means "NO!"
37. "Wife Beaters" are not an adequate form of fashion.
38. If we wanted to be on video tape, we'd be a porn star not your girlfriend.
39. Sensitive guys are great . . . but crying more than we do in a movie just isn't right.
40. Don't let ex-girlfriends cause drama, relationships are stressful enough!!!!!
41. It takes a special kind of stupid to forget birthdays.
42. Guys who are good cuddlers = guys who know how to satisfy a woman.
43. "Fat Chicks" have feelings too--all chicks have feelings.
44. Silent treatment + shoulder shrugs + tears + yelling + nasty looks = YOU DID SOMETHING WRONG!
45. If you are not a good dancer, please be self-aware.
46. Just because a girl doesn't pick up on the first ring doesn't mean she's not waiting by the phone.
47. You don't have to spend a lot, if it means a lot.
48. Don't say you love me if you don't mean it.
49. Don't lie to us . . . we will catch you...eventually we always catch you.
50. When the girls get together, we talk about EVERYTHING. Meaning my best friends knows everything about you.
51. Don't Make Promises You Can't Keep
52. Don't tell your girl "I saw "this thing" that you would have loved and I was going to buy it for you..." or " I was going to buy you "fill in the blank"... but then didn't for whatever reason. If you didn't buy it we don't want to hear about it, all that does is create disppointment. Either buy it or shut up about it.
should i or should i not...
asking for forgiveness??? should i forgive him??? i don't know... should i or should i not???
does he really mean it???
i am certainly not mad at the GIRL! please la i have better things to do... i'm glad that is over anyway! you're just a hypocrite... by the way its not for you to judge how is my attitude towards him...
does he really mean it???
i am certainly not mad at the GIRL! please la i have better things to do... i'm glad that is over anyway! you're just a hypocrite... by the way its not for you to judge how is my attitude towards him...
Sunday, February 17, 2008
..............
................
no words can describe how much i feel hurt....
it hurts so much...
but it ended... i don't have to feel this way anymore... its the end of it...
knowing that someone loves you hurts me enough... and can't believe is that GIRL!
hope you're happy with her... hope she makes you happy... im sure she is doing it right now at this moment...
i'm leaving you now and i think that is the right choice and that is what you want... so i guess this is good bye for me... hope your mum is happy now at least... don't worry i will remember the message that you last send me which is 'please don't message me'... don't worry i won't forget...
no words can describe how much i feel hurt....
it hurts so much...
but it ended... i don't have to feel this way anymore... its the end of it...
knowing that someone loves you hurts me enough... and can't believe is that GIRL!
hope you're happy with her... hope she makes you happy... im sure she is doing it right now at this moment...
i'm leaving you now and i think that is the right choice and that is what you want... so i guess this is good bye for me... hope your mum is happy now at least... don't worry i will remember the message that you last send me which is 'please don't message me'... don't worry i won't forget...
'Happily Never After'
That just ain't for me.
Because finally,
I know
I deserve better, after all
I'll never let another teardrop fall."
That just ain't for me.
Because finally,
I know
I deserve better, after all
I'll never let another teardrop fall."
Friday, February 15, 2008
what a day...
all i saw yesterday was
*sigh* i wish i would spend my valentines like that... but i was spending the whole day in class... had class from 9.30am till up to 7.00pm... sad rite? i had butt cramps and i felt like my ass is already been flatten by the chair... and then at 9.00 pm i had a meeting... that i totally forgot about... hehehe... luckily izzah reminded me... well this was my valentines... how was that? hahaha... anyone got worst???
- couples holding hand...
- girls getting a bouquet of flowers...
- cards were given to each other...
- presents...
- teddy bears were given...
- couples having dinner...
- couples walking around...
- feeding each other ice creams...
*sigh* i wish i would spend my valentines like that... but i was spending the whole day in class... had class from 9.30am till up to 7.00pm... sad rite? i had butt cramps and i felt like my ass is already been flatten by the chair... and then at 9.00 pm i had a meeting... that i totally forgot about... hehehe... luckily izzah reminded me... well this was my valentines... how was that? hahaha... anyone got worst???
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
happily NEVER after
happy never after
by backstreet boys
"I don't think I want this anymore,"
As she drops the ring to the floor.
She says to herself, "You've left before,"
"This time you will stay gone, that's for sure."
And he shattered something else
To drag her suitcase down the path,
To the driveway.
She had never gone that far.
Normally this would be
the time that she
would let him talk her out of leaving,
But this time, without crying,
as she got into her car, she said,
"No
'Happily Never After'
That just ain't for me.
Because finally,
I know
I deserve better, after all
I'll never let another teardrop fall."
As she drove away she starts to smile,
Realized she hadn't for a while.
No destination, she drove for miles
Wondering why she stayed in such denial.
She was laughing about the way he shattered something else
To drag her suitcase down the path,
to the driveway,
she had never gone that far
Normally this would be, the time that she
would let him talk her out of leaving, but this time, without crying,
as she got into her car, she said,
by backstreet boys
"I don't think I want this anymore,"
As she drops the ring to the floor.
She says to herself, "You've left before,"
"This time you will stay gone, that's for sure."
And he shattered something else
To drag her suitcase down the path,
To the driveway.
She had never gone that far.
Normally this would be
the time that she
would let him talk her out of leaving,
But this time, without crying,
as she got into her car, she said,
"No
'Happily Never After'
That just ain't for me.
Because finally,
I know
I deserve better, after all
I'll never let another teardrop fall."
As she drove away she starts to smile,
Realized she hadn't for a while.
No destination, she drove for miles
Wondering why she stayed in such denial.
She was laughing about the way he shattered something else
To drag her suitcase down the path,
to the driveway,
she had never gone that far
Normally this would be, the time that she
would let him talk her out of leaving, but this time, without crying,
as she got into her car, she said,
counting.. or not to count...
valentines day is a few days away.. when two hands join together like the above it becomes a heart.. its every girls wish to be with their love ones and to get flowers and gifts from their guy.. but sometimes some girls just do not get what they want in life.. some choose to spend their time being alone.. some just do not want to be bother about this day.. i wish for once i could feel being love by someone on this special occasion.. *sigh..* ok do not think so much...*missing you*
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
....
i promise that i will remember you the way you remember me even we are not together anymore.
we will not be together now but maybe later... i will miss you sooo much...
we will not be together now but maybe later... i will miss you sooo much...
Monday, February 11, 2008
hi to the rat year!
its has come to end on 4th february... how sad is that... no one has made me smile for the past few months and now its back to normal and sadness... *how pathetic can i be anyway*
sigh...
life is full of obstacles and this particular one is just so hard for me right now...
i have to walk on my own again and i have to learn how to not think about what have happen...
chinese new year was a long break and i spend my chinese new year in penang... it was nice to spend it with my family but at the same time trying to forget what had happen was the hardest thing... penang was so hot and i have tanned lines on my skin... my little cousins would entertain me especially when im feeling down as they are the biggest clown to me...
a new year
a new heart
a new life
a new attitude..
may this rat year bring me more joy and happiness and prosperity...
sigh...
life is full of obstacles and this particular one is just so hard for me right now...
i have to walk on my own again and i have to learn how to not think about what have happen...
chinese new year was a long break and i spend my chinese new year in penang... it was nice to spend it with my family but at the same time trying to forget what had happen was the hardest thing... penang was so hot and i have tanned lines on my skin... my little cousins would entertain me especially when im feeling down as they are the biggest clown to me...
a new year
a new heart
a new life
a new attitude..
may this rat year bring me more joy and happiness and prosperity...
Friday, February 01, 2008
a change!!!!!!
It was time to put everything to the end. It was time to let go all the anger and not let anything destroy our relationship. I guess my emotional control myself during this past few days. I couldn’t help it but to be jealous of everything and trying to find fault for every single thing that has been happening throughout the past few days.
Jealously will always be there but I hope that I would not feel that way most of the time. I have to learn how to trust someone and I just hope that the trust would be given and would prove my thinking wrong.
Things are not the same like the first time we meet but I hope it would be much better and we would work it out to be better. Currently it is getting better. Much lesser of the arguing but I still get upset with the words that I hear or the actions that turn out to be much different than we discuss. I am trying. I miss everything. I’m missing you.
Anyway, Chinese New Year is around the corner. My family has decided to spend our Chinese New Year in Penang. Penang here I come. Hope that I would enjoy myself anyway and also get loads loads of ang pow.
To be continue…
Jealously will always be there but I hope that I would not feel that way most of the time. I have to learn how to trust someone and I just hope that the trust would be given and would prove my thinking wrong.
Things are not the same like the first time we meet but I hope it would be much better and we would work it out to be better. Currently it is getting better. Much lesser of the arguing but I still get upset with the words that I hear or the actions that turn out to be much different than we discuss. I am trying. I miss everything. I’m missing you.
Anyway, Chinese New Year is around the corner. My family has decided to spend our Chinese New Year in Penang. Penang here I come. Hope that I would enjoy myself anyway and also get loads loads of ang pow.
To be continue…
Thursday, January 31, 2008
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